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| Hand in Hand |
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| Paul and Angie |
On This Page:
- Drink Lots of Water
- I Know, But I Wanted To
- Submission And The Modern Woman
Drink Lots of Water
This past couple of weeks I have had an attack on my body from the devil. It has caused much pain, weakness and concern. Just as I thought I was over the problem,
it reared up again and I was once again battling it. But the Lord is working
all things together for my God and He is my Jehovah Jireh, my provider and His Grace is more than sufficient for me. I am feeling better.
In the process of all of this I had quite a few medications to take –
and as I HATE to take any kind of chemical remedy – I read and reread all the information about each one. One thing was very evident on several of the medications and that was that I had to drink inordinate amounts
of water to keep from becoming even more ill as I took these things. I don’t
mean just a few glasses of water – I mean HUGE amounts of water. I have
finally reached the stage where I am able to drink 1 1/2 gallons a day without having to live in the bathroom. J
I must say that I have noticed several changes in my body since I began this
excessive water drinking. For one – and this is so minor but a good point
– because I do a lot of physical work outside, my hands stay stained and dry.
My cuticles on my finger nails were always raw and peeling due to constantly washing them everytime I came inside. This morning when I was typing on the computer I rubbed my hands together and realized
that my cuticles were not sore or peeling at all. They are actually healthy looking
and smooth! Such a tiny thing but how interesting that even this has been healed
by drinking so much water.
Now, to the point of all of this – as I was looking at my fingers and
amazed at the sudden change, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart about the Water that I truly needed. Of course, this is the Word of God. For so many of us, we
get into the ritual reading and general study that a lifetime of serving the Lord has led us to. But when we become attacked in some way, hopefully, we will immediately rush to the Word to renew our strength. But how much of the Word do we really seek.
Do we get into the Word just enough to make us feel better or do we absolutely soak ourselves in it.
When I read about how much water I was supposed to drink, I thought, “How
am I ever going to be able to drink that much water in a day?” I read an
article about this and it said that it would require constant sipping all day. And
that is exactly how I have done it - constant sipping. But, you may ask, how can you constantly sip the Word of God? There are too many things to do to be able to carry a Bible around all day long and
read every couple of minutes. You are so right!
It is not something that we can realistically do. However . . . don’t you just love the “Howevers”?!!
If you have embedded the Word of God in your heart and in your mind then you
can sip on the Water of the Word all day long. Our family has always been big
on memorization of scripture. I remember one time in Awanas (a group Erin and Olivia
participated in when they were little) Erin
learned 120 verses of scripture in 2 months. She was trying to finish a section
before the program ended for the summer and bless her heart she walked around constantly with the papers in her hand and mumbled
scriptures. To this day she can still recite them.
There are scriptures that I learned as a child in little choruses that now
come to me in the most difficult moments of life and I can sing them and refresh my soul.
We read a Proverb a day and when the girls were small I would have them write the one verse that touched them in our
reading each day and one that we all still remember- Pro 21:23 “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”
It is vital to our physical health that we drink
large amounts of pure clean water every day. If you are drinking the proper amounts
of water then you will not have time to drink soft drinks, tea, etc. You will
be so busy just drinking your water that your thirst will be quenched and amazingly after awhile you will not even want to
drink anything else. Sweet colas will taste disgusting to you and even fruit
juices will be “too much”. I speak from experience.
How much more will continually sipping the Word
of God cause you to lose your desire for the falseness of this world. If you
are drawn to the world’s offerings then you are not drinking enough of the Word.
Your spirit man will weaken and begin to die. You will find yourself craving
the fake sweetness, the strong spiciness, and the chemically generated pleasures and pursuits of this world. Your body will lust for these things and your mind will reject the simple, clean taste of the things of
God. But when you begin to create a desire for the Word by feeding your spirit
man continually then you will desire it more and more and more. You will hunger
after it and you will thirst for it.
I will close by saying again – No, I have
not completely conquered this flesh I am in. No, I still have things of this
world that I must battle. No, I do not say in any way that I have overcome the
entire draw of this world. I imagine that I never will, at least until Christ
comes, but I can say without doubt or question, this is my desire. It is my daily
prayer and goal to reach that point. There is no question that Jesus Christ’
death and my acceptance of Him as Lord and Savior has made the way for me to overcome all of these things. But I am still striving, still seeking, and still crucifying my flesh everyday. And in my effort to overcome I am drinking LOTS OF WATER!
“. . . even as
Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle,
or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
Ephesians 5:25 - 27
I Know, But I Wanted Too!
Those words have been said so many times here in our home lately but just this
afternoon did they strike me as to their meaning. Paul fed and watered the piggies
for me this morning and I said, “Oh, Honey, thank you! You didn’t
have to do that!!” And Paul said, “I know, but I wanted too!” I brought him a cup of coffee to his blacksmith shop and he said to me, “Thank
you sweetie, but you didn’t have to do that!” My response, “Well, I wanted too!”
So often we do things out of shear love and
appreciation that are not required of us. We just need to express our hearts
and words seem to be completely inadequate. Have you noticed that the most satisfying
way to show your love for someone is through an act of service? I mean just finding
some way to DO something for them.
As I have pondered on that (wink, wink Sister Lori) the Holy Spirit has reminded
me of the way most people act when they are newly born again. There is something
inside of them that wants to DO. Remember in Acts 16 when Paul and Silas were
praying and the prison doors opened and the jailer became afraid, thinking they had escaped.
When Paul said that they were still there, the jailer said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” The man wanted to DO something. He wanted to receive salvation and a new life but he also wanted to DO something in return. So what did
he do?
He washed their wounds, he fed them, he was baptized and his entire house believed.
Yahoo!!! This man wanted more than anything to return an act of love for the
love that he was shown. Would you call this bondage??? Is this demanded? Is this salvation through works????? Of course not!!!!! This is pure, unadulterated
L*O*V*E!!!!! The real thing! I love
you and I want to DO something for you.
It is a spiritual thing – a supernatural thing – the give and take
of a LOVE relationship. But in order to be truly fulfilling and satisfying it
must be give and take on both sides. My husband, Paul loves me. He works hard to provide for me (through the blessing of the Lord).
He takes out the trash, cleans the hog pen so that I don’t have too, repairs things that break, builds things
that we need, and calls me during the day to tell me how important and cherished I am.
This is just the tip of the iceberg! He seeks ways to bring joy to my
heart and a smile to my face.
And what is my response? Do I
just sit back and enjoy it all because I don’t have to do anything to receive his love.
Do I gripe and complain; spend every penny he makes and then cry for more because he is supposed to not only provide
my needs as a good husband but my wants as well. Do I ignore ways that I could
bless him in return because he is supposed to love me unconditionally? Please!
I want Paul to come home everyday with a smile on his face, not just because
he has had a productive and blessed day at work (which is what I pray for everyday) but also because he knows that when he
gets home there is someone waiting for him that will bless him in every way she possibly can.
Every thing that I can think of to do to make Paul happy to be home – that is what I want to do. From having quiet in the house so that he can have a few minutes to rest his mind, down to making sure
the house smells like good food cooking to ease his hunger.
As the evening progresses I wonder if his feet are tired and hurting (mine
usually are) so we take off his shoes and rub his poor feet. If he is bending
and stretching a little more than normal, I suppose that his back is hurting a little, so either I or one of the girls will
take just a minute to rub out the kinks. If he is not his normal, cheerful self
then I know that something has troubled him and so I try to think of how I can ease his mind a bit. And one thing I try to never do is demand that he talk to me! Maybe
he has talked enough, maybe he is pondering something that the Lord is dealing with him about.
Maybe he is just mentally worn out and needs to be refreshed. Men are
not like women and they need to be able to “not think” sometimes.
Now having said all of that, I want to go back to my original point of responding
to love with action. As children of a living God, no, we do not earn our salvation. No, we cannot earn salvation even if we tried – It is the free gift of a loving
Lord! Bought and paid for by our Savior Jesus Christ! But in return I want to bless Him – just like I want to bless my earthly husband. Not because He demands
it of me but because it is my best to give.
I pray that in some way we all will give up something of our selves – something that
our flesh desires – so that the world, the unsaved, lost and dying world – can see that life in Christ is a blessed
life and one that brings untold joy. But also that we, as Christians, want to
leave behind what our flesh desires and give all to Jesus. This is when we can be truly at peace.
Submission and the Modern Woman
For the past 21-½ years, I’ve been married to a wonderful man. No, he’s not the strongest, the fastest, the richest one out there but, he is loving, supportive,
dependable and trustworthy-all the really important things that a good husband should possess.
Have I been the perfect wife? Well, depending on when you asked me that
question, the answer would have varied. The first ten years or so, of course
I was. I was young, full of life, and female- how could I have been wrong in any way.
The next six
or seven years, my thoughts shifted somewhat and, let me tell you, it wasn’t for the good. I was first in college, then had a degree, had borne and was raising four children without much help (or
so I thought), worked 40 hours a week (just like he did) and made as much or more money as he was making during many of those
years. If he couldn’t do his share of the work in the relationship, I surely
wasn’t going to waste my time trying to make things work.
As I reflect
back over those middle years, I am horrified and ashamed that I could have said, done and felt like I did. So many, many things I wish could be undone or unsaid. The
times I’d want to go somewhere and he wouldn’t, guess who got left behind without a second thought? Or the times I’d worked hard or long and just didn’t want to worry with making supper, guess
who went without or fended for himself (and many times fed the children and me!) There
are many other examples in our history of just what a “model” wife I was, but you’ve probably got the picture. To say I was lacking would be an understatement.
What made me react this way? Why did I
have those feelings of having to always be right, to always have my way and always be in charge? One of the biggest flaws in my life during this time was my absence from Jesus Christ. I was a woman of the world, a 21st century gal climbing up the ladder of success and riches-
2 Tim. 2:16 – But shun profane
and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness.
Where did God, Christ,
religion or any of that spiritual stuff fit into the picture? What would it profit
me to be down there on Sunday with all those “do-gooders”? I don’t
know why He did it, but God never forsook me during this time-even at my worst, God kept me and mine safe. And although I couldn’t see it, He was trying his best to get my attention.
Well, about
five years ago, I finally go the message. Everything in my life was crashing
down around me. My older children, who were teenagers at the time, were on a
downward spiral of drugs and every other worldly vice. The babysitter was practically
raising my two younger children. It’s not realistic to think someone can
raise a family of four children between the hours of 6:00 pm and 10:00 pm and every other weekend- but guess who thought she could?
Basically all I did for my children during most of those years was feed them supper and put them to bed. Most days they ate both breakfast and lunch at school and I had to keep my nose to the grindstone to be
able to pay for that privilege. How warped was my world?
Worst of all, my
husband and I had drifted so far apart, we rarely sat down to talk or spend time together.
Time at the supper table was spent yelling at teenagers about what they’d done or telling the younger two to
hush “Mommy and/or Daddy had a long day and just want you to be quiet right now”.
We never had nor took time to just be together, without kids, bills, and problems- just the two of us as husband and
wife. All my thoughts went along the lines of “why can’t he just
do what I want” or “why can’t he fix all these problems”. I
know now what a mess my life was in but back then, I was doing, feeling, and reacting the same way as most women of the world. I was in the majority and I HATED it.
2 Tim. 4:3-4 – For the time will come when they will not endure sound
doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers and
they will turn their ears away from the truth and be turned aside to fable.
I was definitely turned aside to fable.
The fable of the modern woman that says we should do our own thing, be our own person, and meet our needs however we
can. Just do it, as the slogan says.
Well, long story
short, I spent another year or so arguing with God that nothing in my life was my fault, others were to blame for the shambles
around me. But, thank the Lord, God won the argument and I had to try things
His way. Did all my marital problems immediately resolve? No – Did my children
fall in line, being obedient and pleasing? No. What did happen? I saw myself as I really was-the real me- and it wasn’t a pretty site. I saw selfishness to my own needs, self-centeredness, and a spiteful and mean-spirited person; anything
but the kind of wife and mother the Lord intended for me to be. After many tearful
rounds of talks, my husband and I made some tough decisions concerning our life.
We saw that society
and especially peer groups had much more influence over our children than we did so we chose to home school. This in itself led to a series of chain reactions in other areas.
I could no longer work full time outside the home. This greatly reduced
our income therefore, less going, less eating out, less “extra” money- period. More cooking at home, cooking from
scratch; we even had to get used to spending more time with each other witch really took some adjustment for everyone in the
household. Were we thrilled with all this? Most days, no, but we were willing
to “give it a go” and see what happened.
During all
these changes (many times it would have been better classified as upheaval or mass chaos), I was hearing and reading more
and more about wifely submission, husband as head of the household, etc. I can
tell you these were truly foreign concepts here at the Swafford house. I am the
outspoken one, the bossy personality in our relationship. He, on the other hand,
is the quiet type- slow to speak, slow to react/anger, long on thinking (of which I am NOT at times). Even though he didn’t necessarily like me taking charge, I think it was easier than having to argue
about it all the time (the lesser of two evils choice).
The more I read and studied, the more this concept appealed to me. First of all, it would give me some relief! With raising kids,
cleaning house, home schooling, etc., I had too much on my plate as it was, so maybe he could take over some thereby lightening
my load. As you can see, the choice to be a submissive wife was initially made
for my own selfish reason. But, as time has gone on, the reasons have changed. Now it’s about God’s plan for me and helping my husband be the best man
he can be (wife as a helpmeet).
Has the road
been easy? Far from it! There are
still many days that we have a major clashing of the wills. Does he always make
the right decision for us? No, but “he that is without sin among you, let
him first cast a stone…” Does he have the best interest of each member
of this family in his heart and mind? Yes, and as hard as it is to admit some
days, in most cases where I’ve overruled him, he turned out to be right! We
truly have a much happier household now. The decrease in monetary things has
been overcome many times over by the joy of enjoying our relationship, better relationship with our children, and, of course,
grandchildren! But, the greatest joy by far is the relationship I now have with
Christ, which for so many years I had pushed aside.
I can lay my burden at his feet and not have to be bogged down with worry, stress, or anxiety.
Matt. 6:27 – Which of you
by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
Jesus is beside me when I struggle with wifely issues and through the word
of God, I am brought back every time to my duty as a wife.
Eph. 5:22 – Wives, submit
to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
I pray daily that
God will bless me with many more years of marriage and that I can do a better job with any remaining years he chooses to give
me. I pray to be the best Christian I can be,
not only for my own gain (Heaven will be grand!) but in order to be a positive influence in the lives of my husband, children,
and family.
Apryl Swafford
I met Apryl a year or so ago and have
believed it was a divine appointment ever since. She is an incredible person
and a precious friend. When I asked her to write this article I knew that the
Lord would use her mightily and so He has. You will be blessed tremendously as you read this beautiful testimony of surrender
Angie
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